Jan 172013
 

seduceme_0

You may remember a while back when we defended the right for Seduce Me to be released, after some controversy of the game being banned on Steam for being an Adult game it had our full support of being a game that regardless of the content should be released because it’s a game. Well Seduce Me is out and available for purchase. But will this sexy game seduce you?

SeduceMe_Pietra02“How you doin’ ?”

This is honestly one of the first Adult Only titles I have ever played (give or take a couple of dating-sims from Newgrounds from my awkward teenage years). But this one is an official ESRB rated game so make sure the kids don’t play it. Why? Well. Sex. We can go on a rant about why this game is rated AO and not M but that’s not what this is about. This is about the game and how it really is.

You take control of, you, I guess, as your character never really has any explanation as who he is, or why he’s there, he’s just sort of…there. As you explore a resort filled with passionate women. Very, passionate women. Your goal is to, well, build a “relationship” and have yourself a sexy, erotic adventure. Well, no your goal is not to build a relationship, your true goal is to get laid, there’s no relationship building here, there’s a mini-card game instead.

That’s the biggest gripe with the game as the way you get through your sexy adventure is horrendously boring. Every time you meet a character your character will interact with them by making small talk, flirting or group conversations, usually turning the game into a mini-game-card sequence which isn’t really that engaging. Your characters will bring up topics like airplane, sky, piano, party -all shown with images in a speech bubble with a number next to it; you’re either supposed to match the “suit” or number. Think of it like Solitaire, as you match suits or beat numbers, you gain points which makes you “closer” to the other character or makes them disappear from the room only to do the whole thing all over again.  That’s the gameplay–a sexy solitaire.

SeduceMe_Cecelia_Rhea_Conversation“Yes…Speak dirty to me, Dirty Wine”

That’s really the entire game as depending on your deck at hand you can progress or fail. Of if you’re successful you’ll gain popularity points, attraction points or intimacy points among the ladies, if you fail the game is over. Sounds sexy doesn’t it? You can walk around the resort by clicking on a direction and the game does have a panorama-view of the area, so if you see the words “Scruffle” coming from a door down the hall, go there, that’s your next objective.

Although the gameplay aspect isn’t interesting in the slightest, at least we can say the visuals are very nice to look at, and I don’t mean because you’ll see a lot of sexual positions or maneuvers, but the art really is great. Even the backgrounds looks nice with a painting-touch to it while the characters are pictures of adult females. I have to stress that the females are ADULT and want sex. Just in case rumors starts flying about this game.  These characters are consenting-adult-females, and your character is an adult male. Actually that would have spiced the game a bit if there was a homosexual-interest as well, maybe in the sequel.

By the way I wouldn’t necessarily say this game is like an erotic-book, this game is like porn. You’ll see man-spirit and other positions that will make you question life, that’s not a bad thing, it’s just interesting to note as well. Just for those wondering if you’ll see anything, yes, yes you will. Not just side-boob or outlines of packages but full on money-shot-satisfying pictures.

SeduceMe_Pietra“Hi, I heard some noises is every—I’ll come back later…”

Seduce Me isn’t a terrible game, it’s just not a very good one. The goal is to have sex and get treated to naughty pictures, there really is no relationship-building, if the two consenting adults talk about planes for a while they’ll go somewhere more “comfortable”. There’s no strategy or relationship building, it’s: meet a girl, play mini-game, she likes you, play another mini-game, assume you win, pictures of the couple doing their thang, continue as if nothing happened. That’s it. Since the game is based on cards it’s completely random to what will happen next. The card-game aspect can be engaging if you’re into Solitaire.

If there were more interesting stories or if the character themselves were more than one-dimensional sex-objects there could be something here to make it stand out. As of now, you have the Internet, you can probably find the “rewarding” photos of you desire online already, because the voyage there…isn’t really worth it. Seduce Me and other games like it, still have our support for being what it is: a sexual-experience video game, but as a game it’s not that fun and that’s something we can’t support.

3/10

PROS

Card game is OK
Great Art
Interesting Photos

Cons

Repetitive
One-dimensional Characters
Not that seductive

 

You can purchase Seduce Me HERE

 

We received a review code for Seduce Me.  All opinions are honest and of the minds of the Paranerds.com staff.

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  One Response to “Seduce Me Review”

  1. [...] speaks about The Hobbit, they also go over new releases and NEWS. Kevin also speaks about the game Seduce Me and they both go over why sex is not acceptable in gaming but violence is. Then the two go over an [...]

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